The day before I embarked upon my four-year mission trip around the United States, I wrote down some thoughts that I would like to share now as I look back. It is crazy how slow time moves while pressing through situations and how fast is has passed once you are on the other side! I was gearing up at this point for eight weeks of boot camp. Excitement pulsed through me as I wondered how hard it would really be...would I be up for the challenge? Would I make it through? Would these be the longest eight weeks of my life? And then what about after those eight weeks? What then? But this is the perspective God gave me in the midst of my fears and excitement.
ONLY EIGHT WEEKS...to make an impact for the Lord on my fellow Coast Guard recruits and Company Commanders, to shine the light of the Gospel in a dark place, to have the attitude of Christ Jesus as I give my best in all I do, and to be a witness of the transforming beauty and power of the cross.
Tomorrow I embark upon an eight-week adventure, which marks the beginning of my service in the Coast Guard. Boot camp will be hard and challenging, but it is only eight-weeks...eight weeks and it will all be over. I will be a Coastie, heading to a new duty station where I'll meet new challenges (hard, fun, exciting, difficult, etc.) that will stretch me. In such a short time (even though it may seem like an eternity at the moment), boot camp will be behind me...it's only eight weeks.
But a good friend challenged me to look at it in a different light---to look at it through Christ's eyes. I only get eight weeks to make an impact on the people that I'll come in contact with; only eight-weeks to be a witness of my precious Lord and Savior; and only eight-weeks to make much of Him through my actions and attitudes at Cape May, New Jersey. I am an ambassador of Christ, and He is the one who has placed me in Coast Guard boot camp for such a time as this. I thank and praise Him that I get eight weeks to serve and glorify Him in Cape May, New Jersey. An exciting, challenging adventure is just about to begin in my life---God is with me and He will strengthen me to shine for Him.
Thank You, Lord, that I get eight-weeks of boot camp---eight-weeks to point others to the Living God.
WOW! All of that is behind me now. Not only the eight weeks but almost the whole four years! I look back and wonder...did I point to Jesus? Did I do my best? Doubts creep in...you could have done better, Sara. You could have shined the Gospel brighter and better. You could have loved deeper and pointed to Jesus more effectively. You grew weary and tired. You were grumpy and not very personable sometimes---a lot of the time! You were impatient and fearful and doubting.
Yet in the midst of these doubts the Spirit whispers...did you love one person, show kindness to just one person, shine Jesus to one of the men and woman on your boat, live the Gospel out for one fellow Coastie to see? Did you say "Yes" to my leading day by day? Did you take my hand and stand back up when you fell down? Did you remember my love when the days were hard and difficult? Did you see me use you for the Father's glory?! Did you see how I whispered my love through you as you sanded and painted those walls with a smile? Do you remember how I used you to make everyone shake their heads in wonder as you worked hard washing dishes and kindly serving others as a mess cook? Do you remember how those guys on your boat would ask you how you could smile and show such kindness when you worked from sun up to sun down? Do you remember how you would nervously but so courageously tell them that it was because of Jesus? Did you hear me cheering inside your heart as you gave glory to God?! Did you hear the angels singing as your smile pointed people to how great Jesus is? Do you remember how people told you that the boat would change you? How you would eventually lose your smile and lose your joy? But do you remember how my strength rose up inside you giving you power to smile when everyone else complained?
Do you remember those nights you felt so alone as you cried in your bunk? Did you know I was there too with you collecting your tears? Do you remember that time when your friends laughed in amazement as they told you that you were like a "flower in a toilet bowl"? Did you know that I was the one who kept you from wilting? Do you remember those days that you would gather up some of your friends from the boat and take them all to church with you? Do you remember how it seemed so useless because then they would go off and get drunk the next day anyway? But I bet you didn't see how pleased I was? Did you know that I was so happy to see you living like Jesus by hanging out with sinners and loving them even as they were so unlovable? Do you remember how I told you that you were doing a good job and not to lose heart? Do you remember that guard as you drive on base who gave you my message to keep going...that you were doing a beautiful thing?
You see, every day that you said "Yes" to me, Sara, I used you to touch that one person I placed into your life. And every one person that you loved and showed kindness to and smiled at was touched by my heart. I didn't want you to try and change your boat, I just wanted you to say "Yes" to me and then I would change your boat through your one act of kindness to one person because that shows just how much I value life...it shows just how precious one life is in my sight.
And so as I look back, I find that the battle of faith is not in doing better or ridding my heart of its doubts, but it is in believing what the Spirit whispers into my heart...say "Yes" to me today, and I will amaze you with the great plans that I have for you!
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