Reflections on the Hard

I praise the Lord for laughter's music filling hearts with joy. The joy that finds its birth from the deep places in my heart; which like seeds planted deep in dark, earthy soil, also grow up into lovely blooming blossoms of vibrant flowers. Yes, the joy that springs from the hard things of life: sad goodbyes, lonely heart aches, weariness of body and soul, difficulties with people, interruptions, changes in the plans, sickness, challenges that loom so tall, hopes lost, and a zillion other hard things that God uses to show me His love and show me how much I need His love.

Why so much "hard"? Because the hard drives me to the Lord, and that is the best place to be; so God is loving me in giving me the hard things for it is His way of drawing me into His warm embrace!

The hard things of life turn my eyes to Heaven. The lonely, heavy silences open my ears to the echoing praises in Glory reminding me that I am not yet Home. I feel Heaven's longing in me as I sit in the sad quietness and feel my soul's cry for more---for life without goodbyes, life where things only get better and brighter, and for that wondrous moment when I shall see Jesus face to face! Until that day, the hard can be the wind to blow me to Christ's sweet side...if in thanksgiving I turn my sails to be carried along by its current and into God's love be plunged!

The hard teaches me obedience as I surrender to God's plan in thanksgiving. His ways do not make sense the way I would like or unfold, neatly cookie cutter lives as I have in my own plans for myself. Yet what I see is that God's ways cut away at all the pretty, wrapping paper of "godliness" that I wrap my heart with and penetrates deep to show me my sin and expose the idols of my heart that I do not even realize are there. This is God's wisdom and kindness in my life to discipline me as a father disciplines a child, and the hard is the beautiful tool of discipline in His hands uncovering my sin so that I can repent and turn from my sin and draw ever closer to my Heavenly Father.

The hard things in my life are gifts of mercy and grace from God in that they always ensure to keep me in a place of seeing my need of Him. As my heart feels overwhelmed by the hard, I am squeezed, pushed, pressured, and prodded until the only place I have to look is up. When God gives me the hard things of life, he is giving me a precious opportunity to learn to depend upon Him. As I find my own soul grappling with hard things, I am given the choice of praising God for giving me the gift of feeling my desperate need of Him...and in the soil of thanksgiving joy blooms victorious.

The Deepness of Our Love

John 15:13

" There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends."

These are Christ's own words to His disciples before He Himself demonstrated the greatest act of love in all of history by dying, not for His friends, but for His enemies. The verse before this, Jesus gives his disciples a command: love one another. This following verse (13) explains how deep their love must be. Their love must mirror Christ's own. But how do we mirror His love? Usually when I stop to ask myself this question, I automatically begin to examine my love for others. I want to discover how deep it truly is...how much do I mirror Christ...is my love strong, vibrant, and sacrificial? The problem is that when I start doing this, I take my eyes off of Christ's love and I fix my eyes on my own love---my own works. So what do we do? We don't worry about how deep our love is...we don't concern ourselves with how we look...we don't examine our progress. These may seem rather strange and quite contradictory. Yet imagine what would happen if an athlete looked back during a race to see how far he had come and to see how far back his competitors were...he would lose his place in the race because he did not keep his gaze fixed on the goal before him. The secret to cultivating deep love is not in seeing that we have it, but in gazing upon Christ's deep love. If we forget about possessing love and instead abide in Christ's love we will begin living out love in our daily lives. I know that I so often fall into the trap of obsessing over whether I am living out Christ's love and wondering if I am showing love like Christ that I often times miss out on the opportunities that God sends my way to actually love others. So I am left with this thought: Fix all of my thoughts, thanksgivings, daily moments on the love of Christ for sinners---be swallowed up in Christ's love and do not worry about how I can love others. Instead as I am consumed with Christ's love, He will pour His love through me.

Gifts of Grace

Written in dust on the shelves in my home

In the piles of laundry that ensure I'm never alone

Stacked up high in the sink every day

Is the message of mercy ever displayed

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For once thinking sadly, "I'll need grace for this day."

While surveying the toys scattered from play

And feeling the weight of the sink staked up high

And the mountains of laundry reaching the sky

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Once the clutter loitering around

Seemed a barrier to the peace not found

Deep in my soul from striving and cleaning

For inevitably my flurry left me retreating

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And once longing for grace just to make it through

I realized a truth ever so true

That God's grace is not seen in getting me by

But in the gifts of today piled up high

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In the dishes, the laundry, the dust on the shelves

In the faces of my children longing to be held

In the bathroom needing cleaning again

In the pickup of crayons, markers, and pens

In the play dough caked in the carpeted floor

With dinner needing prepping along with much more

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If anything I realize I'm blessed beyond measure

To have so much of God's grace is truly a treasure

For in His daily gifts of grace

I see His love through eyes of faith